Merry Christmas!

You've Come a Long Way...

It's been a week. A week of firsts:

• baths
  
• doctor's visits (FYI = not fun)


• meals



• going to Target (this took 45 minute of prep on my part and I forgot a diaper bag)


• smiles and laughs


• outfits (some fit, some don't. Some are ridiculously cute.)



• dirty diapers (some dirtier than others)


• toys (Dustin perpetually sings the Cookie Jar song right now with his own grown-up lyrics)


• exploring the house


• meeting the dog


• getting to know mom and dad
  
• waiting for Santa (and/or grandmas and grandpas)

The sleeping is slowly working itself out a bit. The first few nights were Really Rough. The past two have been marginally better. But when I look at where little Jaden was a week ago, I'd say we couldn't ask for anything more.


Merry Christmas Eve!

Giggles = priceless!

HomeSweetHome!

We have talked to many of you already, and this post is a bit delayed, but we are home safe and sound. The weather in Chicago and some misplaced bags couldn't hold us down. Jaden was amazing the entire way! Thanks for all your kind words and support along the way!

We will be off the blog for a bit as we tend to some new duties! :) But, you know where to find us!

Almost home! In Chicago. Very sleepy... But all is well!

Not Lost in Translation

This is the last post from Korea. We've been here for only five days, it seems as if it has been longer. The waiting has been interminable but is finally at an end. We have a long plane ride ahead, and we will survive. It will be okay. Our family will come home.

What I'm really thinking about this morning is Jaden's foster mom. She is preparing Jaden for us this morning. Undoubtedly she is putting extra thought into his clothes, his carry-on items, his bath... Whenever we saw her with him and saw her sing songs, it was clear is that she loves this child to her core, and she will be incredibly sad to leave him. We were supposed to bring gifts for her to show our gratitude, but what gift can we give that says thank you for providing our son with a stable, loving environment for all of these months? I can only hope that our thoughts and words do not need translation either.

Until America then...

So, we meet again

It was easier this time. He let us calm him, feed him and play with him. He went home for his last night with his foster mom. We will take him to the airport in the morning. We are undeniably, indisputably, irrevocably in love with this child.

Our Big Night Out

Some brief reflections on yesterday:

1. We walked 3023 miles yesterday and took 45 different subway rides.



2. I got pretty "hangry" (word creator = Sara) at one point -- most of you who know me understand that this means that Dustin forgot to feed me every 2 hours and I almost fell down for the lack of food. Luckily, a 7-11 interceded with Coke at exactly the right moment. Had Coke not been found, I may have turned into a permanent fixture in Korean society -- hopefully with underpants on my new physique.



3. We had the best night we will have here in Seoul because we were able to meet with my cousin (Annie) and her boyfriend (Cole) -- pictured below. Both haved lived in Korea for over a year and work as English teachers. They hooked us up with good food, insights into Korean culture and found us a CD with Korean children's music. We had a great time.



4. Part of the Berlin Wall is here. Go figure.



5. Seoul is really pretty at night -- the Christmas lights are out in full style. Very romantic.



6. An a final picture to sum up the trip thus far...

...or something like that. :)

It is only 5 in the morning right now, though we both got the most sleep we have since arriving this past night. We are going to get things packed up here this morning, move over the guest house attached to our agency, and then meet Jaden again at 2 PM. The social worker will make the decision after our meeting whether to transfer custody then or wait until tomorrow morning as we get ready to leave for the airport. Yes, the "not knowing" isn't entirely fun -- but, we want to do what is best for Jaden. We'll update as soon as we know. I can't wait to see him again!

Day 3 - killing time

(Dustin here... Ali makes me identify all my posts because she doesn't believe they are as good as hers and are filled with spelling errors. :) For those of you who are interested in continuing inspite of all that, below are some highlights of our travels so far on day 3 in Seoul. :)

Ali down below waiting for the Subway:

First stop was the Korean War Memorial. For this photo, the photographer was yelling, "give me deer in headlights! deer in headlights!!!" So, we did.

Enjoying a frosty Korean beverage before moving on to our next stop:

This was a brief trip across town at the beautiful Gyeongbokgung Palace that was constucted in 1395:

Here I am at another part of the same palace, also part of the National Folk Museum:

We had a traditional Korean lunch ("Bibimbap") at a wonderful cafe that was part of the national museum:

OK... next stop - TechnoMart! Now this might be one of the most amazing (modern) places I have seen since we have been here (Warren and my father might agree!). 10 floors of nothing but electronics - hundreds of different stores. unbeliveable!!

All for now. We are taking a quick rest and then off to more shopping and dinner with Ali's cousin! We are really looking forward to seeing her! Tomorrow (Thursday) we move from our hotel over to the agency guest house and spend more time with Jaden and prepare for our trip home on Friday morning!

Last Day Apart

In the aftermath of the blur of our emotional meeting with Jaden yesterday, I think I left out a few key details. First -- we forgot to ask how much he weighed. So, my scientific analysis says...he is about 18 or 19 pounds. No idea if that is correct -- not at all. He felt good when I picked him up though -- really sturdy and cuddly. His foster mom says he loves to be cuddled. Whew. I think that is good -- I've got a lot of latent desire to hug and snuggle with him.

Also -- he is crawling! Really well -- a regular little scuttle-butt. He pulls himself up on furniture and takes a few steps while holding on to objects. He eats a few things -- like yogurt and rice porridge. He puts himself to sleep, according to his foster mom. He also sleeps in a crib. Whew again. The cultural norm is co-sleeping in Korea. Dustin and I were getting geared up to do the same to ease Jaden's transition. But, let me make this clear -- we both wake up at the sound of a feather falling in the next room even WITHOUT children. I think co-sleeping with a wriggly 8-month-old would be a bit of a challenge.

After our way-too-quick meeting yesterday, we met the President of the Eastern Social Welfare Society (the Korean agency we are adopting through) and then had a traditional Korean lunch with other adopting families. There were about 8 families there for the lunch. Most were about to become parents for the first time -- just like us. Needless to say, we have a lot in common!

We went sightseeing afterwards, and navigated the subway system somewhat effectively. We ended up in bed at 8:00 -- not joking. I was beat. I was up at 1 am for an hour, and then again at 5 am for good. We are now killing time until the city opens at 8:00 am. We plan on going to the Korean War memorial this morning, doing some more shopping, and finally meeting my cousin who lives in Seoul for dinner tonight. This is our last day without being together as a family. Did I mention I'm looking at our photos from yesterday in an obssessive compulsive manner? Here are a few more.

Finally, we have to say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the many, many good wishes and messages you have all sent. As I've said before, there is no playbook for building a family through adoption. Being able to have two-way communication with our loved ones back home has exponetially increased our happiness with this process. It makes the whole experience so much more real.

Cute alert!

Attached are a few professional photos of Jaden that his foster mother gave us.

First hellos

We arrived at the agency at 10:00 am (after a bit of a runaround the city with a confused taxi driver.) We met a social worker who gave us Jaden's passport and told us that his foster mother was on her way. She shut us in a backroom and we waited. The minutes took an eternity - the last few before we met our son.

The foster mom finally walked in and immediately held Jaden out to us. With gusto she introduced us to him as "ommah" and "oppah" (mom and dad.) Jaden didn't necessarily agree -- he was definitely a little hesitant with us at first. We went up to a playroom and had about 30 minutes together. The foster mother and social worker explained his routines to us. To be honest, it was terribly hard to concentrate. It was just so amazing; seeing him, touching him, hearing him, watching him. He is a busy little boy with a happy demeanor. He laughed and smiled often and played with every toy that was out in that short period of time. He let me hold him for a few minutes at a time before fussing for his foster mom. We got a chance to snap a few photographs -- the first of thousands I'm sure.

The foster mom is just phenomenal. She gave us a couple of photo albums of pictures she had taken over the past 8 months. She also gave us an amazing photo of Jaden on his 100th day -- all dressed up in traditional attire. It is gorgeous -- he is gorgeous. A perfect, healthy, happy baby boy. We couldn't ask for anything more.

We will meet with him again on Thursday afternoon and hope that he begins to feel more comfortable with us. Until then, we will scour the city for things he might enjoy.

The wait was definitely worth it.

Who needs sleep?

(Dustin here) We made it! 17 hours of air travel and we are now in Seoul... and may we say a pleasantly uneventful trip thus far. The snow and ice in Minnesota was unable to stop our departure and the rest of the trip went very smoothly. Korean Airlines is wonderful and, so far, highly recommended!

It has been a whirlwind since we arrived... so no pictures yet until tomorrow. We just dined on some"korean style" sushi... interesting (ali said "sub par".) For now, we will sleep (enter exhaustion here)... tomorrow is a big day. Tomorrow, we meet our son for the very first time at 11am. :)

Greetings from Seattle! I feel blurry!

(dustin here) Just because Ali doesn't know how to use a camera phone... she is still ok. After 6 attempts, this was our best shot. :) Maybe I am just not photogenic. Only 11.5 short hours to go...

Leaving Minneapolis on our way to Seoul!

Seoul Bound

In less than 24 hours we will be on a plane to meet our son. Today, I think, is the first day we get checked on our parenting skills. We had to choose clothes for the trip, we are sterilizing bottles, and making sure there are enough things in our bag to keep Jaden somewhat entertained on our enviable 12.5 (yes, you read that correctly) flight back from Seoul to Chicago. I was fairly proud that we didn't have "much to do" today -- I thought we were pretty set. But, I've been up since 7, it is now 2, and I haven't put anything of Jaden's in a bag yet -- let alone of my own. Welcome to our new life.

The house is a bit of a disaster, but I've made sure Jaden's room is properly organized. Here's a picture of what awaits our little boy. The quilt is compliments of my mother. I.love.it. Thanks mom, I can't wait to introduce you and everyone else to the latest addition to our family.

Until Seoul then.

Travel Call!!

9:32 am I'm typing a letter of recommendation for a student and thinking about how I really didn't want to teach in 15 minutes time.

9:33 am An email from my husband comes across my screen that says: Call me!

9:34 am Dustin and I know we are going to be parents within the week! We got the travel call from our agency and Jaden is ready to come home!!

We are leaving on Sunday and will arrive in Korea on Monday. Our return flight is on Friday. My head is still spinning. What a great day!

Showers

In the past three weeks, Dustin and I have been brought to a state of speechlessness. We had two baby showers thrown for us. One, by our neighbors -- the couples who live in the closest proximity to us in Suburbia-land. The second, by my closest neighbor (both in terms of geography and friendship) and former roommate/card-playing partner and current friend. Both showers left me with a feeling of "is this for us?" and full of love and goodwill. I'm not kidding about this, despite the cheese-factor you may be feeling. My neighbors, friends and relatives have made Dustin and I feel ridiculously loved and supported. I want to share three examples of this.

1. Homemade woodworking

At the couples shower, two of our neighbors made Jaden homemade gifts that go far beyond my talent with glitter and glue.

We love them. The toybox already has two footballs in it.

2. Long Distance

My mother-in-law lives near Atlanta, GA. She works in the field of health care benefits, which we all know is crazy right now because of open enrollment. She took time out of her schedule to fly up here on a Saturday to attend the second shower. It won't surprise you when I tell you she is one of the most generous, caring, selfless people whom I've ever met. It was so exciting having her here to show her Jaden's room, diapers, blankets, etc. I love her lots.

3. Thoughtfulness

My two friends who hostessed the second shower need to open a catering business. Between the cake and the food spread, I felt like I should have paid admission to attend.

The two organized the shower with an Asian theme -- all of the food was so inspired and was nothing short of fantastic. There were fortune cookies and paper lanterns. To top it off, one of the hostesses and her husband gave a gift that still make my eyes water -- a traditional hanbok that Jaden can wear for his first birthday.

I guess I just wanted to take a moment to share some of the highlights of the showers. Everyone who came, all the gifts and notes that were given; they all make me feel more secure and supported while on the precipice of parenthood. So, once again, thank you.

Giving Thanks

Jaden will have three moms in his life. I think a lot about all three of these moms on a daily basis: his first mother, his foster mother and me. I think about these three moms so much. I will meet his foster mother soon. She has taken care of him every day since he was just a tiny, tiny baby. She knows his cries when he is hungry, she took care of him this fall when he was sick, and she is preparing to say good-bye to him in the next few weeks. I want to write her a letter to have translated into Korean. I want to tell her how much peace her love and care has brought to my husband and I during these torturous weeks waiting to meet our son. I want to tell her thank you.

I may or may not ever meet Jaden's first mother -- his birthmother. Her story is one I cannot imagine, but her life will be linked forever to mine. I do not want to trivialize or minimalize her decisions and sacrifices by speculating what may or may not have been. But, I do want to recognize that I think of her daily. She knew Jaden from the beginning, and has given us a son to love for a lifetime. Our gratitude for this is indescribable.

Over the past two weeks, I feel like I have started identifying as a mother. There is no rulebook here -- becoming a mother through adoption. I am overcome with excitement, fear, love, amazement, and awe simultaneously. I'm going to be Jaden's mom. I don't want to let his other two down.

Halfway

Five weeks in and this is what I know:

1. We have received our I-171 form which means Jaden has received a visa from the US government! This seems like a big deal...at least we are treating it as such.

2. A couple of weeks ago we found out that Jaden had been in the hospital with a nasty virus. He is fine now, but it was really hard to find out about this after the fact. The silver lining is that we received updates on his growth.

3. He was 16.88 pounds and 27 inches long at his 6 month appointment.

4. My leave of absence request from my job is being finalized. I won't be returning to school after our winter break.

5. Dustin and I ordered Jaden's diapers this week. BumGenius 3.0. I'm sure I'll be blogging about the cost/benefit of going this route in the future. Regardless, they are cute. Check them out at http://www.cottonbabies.com/.

6. Barack Obama will be our baby's President!

I think that is it for now. We have our first official baby shower this evening. Things are getting more real by the second.

A One Gallon Bag

Three and a half weeks -- that's how far into this wait we are. If you'd like to know the truth, it seems like a hell of a lot longer than that. During infertility purgatory there is this time called the dreaded "two week wait." All infertiles know this phrase and shudder at the thought. It refers to the window of time that occurs after an embryo transfer until a pregnancy test. Add to that mental stress the physical pain of at least one intramuscular shot of a liquid the consistency of cold syrup into your butt each night, and this wait turned into a party beyond description. I really hated that time. I don't hate this time -- but it certainly has its moments.

I broke down last week. I finally emailed my adoption agency and asked if I should expect any form of communication between now and the travel call. Evidently, I can track through the 49 steps before we can travel OR I can sit back and trust the system is working. With my newfound zen approach on life, I (we) have decided to let the system work (please work, please god...please work.) We were given permission to put together a one gallon ziploc bag worth of objects for our baby boy. Dustin sent this out this morning. Do you know how small a one gallon bag is? I couldn't fit myself into it -- in case you were wondering. Dustin and I had to go through the house and decide what was important enough to send to Jaden, but not so valuable that we would be heartbroken if it were lost (there is no guarantee this package will actually arrive in Korea before we do.) After contemplating this for a few days, here is what we came up with:

• A photo album -- a really ugly one made by this Whoozit company -- but I guess babies like the crinkly paper. We put five pictures in there of Dustin and I. We even put the one in where Dustin said, "that makes me look fat." If you know Dustin, you know why this picture still made the cut. However, the one where I looked half-baked? That one did NOT make it in.
• A disposable camera. We hope that the foster mother who is loving and caring for Jaden is taking pictures of him too. But, that is not a requirement. We are sending a camera in hopes for 24 shots of his 6th and 7th months of life.
• A blanket. We bought it, I washed it, we slept with it to put our smells on it. Now, it is en route to Korea.

This may not seem like much, but the love that is accompanying these items is keeping me up at night. I'm sure the package does more for us than it does for him at this point. At least it is something. Now, I had better get back to not calling the US immigration offices.

Week #1 -- Done and done

We have made it through our first week of waiting for the travel call. In case you were wondering...so far, so good. I have had no random episodes of insanity (or any more than usual), and my husband is still in good spirits. But it isn't for a lack of trying to go around the bend. Yesterday we set up our registries (enter in dramatic dum, dum, dum music here.) This is needed as much for people who are kind enough to want to purchase something for our little one, as for us to realize what equipment is needed to raise a child. We live in "that house" right now. The one kids hate because there are zero toys. The one that has exposed outlets. The one with no thermometer for fevers. Right now, if we had to travel to Korea tomorrow, our baby would be hooked up with a rockin' laptop but no diapers.

First stop: Local discount store. This was not so bad. Remember, aside from never being parents before, we are looking down the barrel of parenting a nearly mobile, solid-food eating child. We also can only guess how much our baby will weigh, what kind of bottle he uses, if he uses a pacifier, or if he likes music when he sleeps. So, what do we need? Clothes. Definitely our baby should be clothed in winter. I knew Dustin was enjoying himself when he starting independently putting onesies on the list. I think he may have even dropped an "isn't this cute?" in there somewhere, although he'd die before admitting it. Excellent.

Next stop: the baby superstore. I knew we were doomed when we had to sit down for an orientation. The very nice lady made an analogy between said superstore and family, "and since you ask your family for advice, we should be your go-to people for your baby." Um, not so much, although I appreciate the offer. Really. They equipped us with a list of "what to register for", did some quick math based on the number of friends we supposedly have, and told us to be sure to register for ~150 items. My eyes bulged. We then wandered aimlessly, each looking for an out wherever we could find it: bathrooms, water, staring at blinking lights. As we left (thank goodness for lunch!), the lady to whom I turned over the magic scanning gun actually laughed at our total. Thirty items. And that was with us throwing caution to the wind.

So week one comes to a close, and I'm pretty sure I should start thinking about that diaper thing more seriously.

10 - 9 - 8 - 7...

The countdown officially starts today. From today, we have a 10-14 week wait to travel to Korea. Dustin and I have spent the last two weeks documenting our lives. This paperwork will allow for the immigration and adoption process to take place. Today, our lives got sent over to Korea. Now, we wait. Again. But, this time is different.

During this wait we get to stare at the picture of our little boy every day, multiple times a day. A friend of mine said today that she's looked at him so much that she "feels like she already knows him." It's kind of true. Each day I am wrapping my head a little more around the impossible concept that this is our child to raise, love, and all other things "parenty."

During this wait I get to start enjoying the anticipation of collecting baby things. My mom (aka Martha Stewart) has been with me the last few days sewing masterpiece baby quilts. My dearest friends are planning showers and knitting booties. I get to go and pick up our rocking chair tomorrow. My cousin has sent me the pros/cons list of every cloth diaper on the market. My neighbor has dropped off a copy of his son's favorite nighttime story. My sister is sending her Jump-a-Roo our way. This is fun.

During this wait I can start to imagine what an eight-month-old looks like when I hold my sister's baby. I get to talk with my dad (Human Growth Development expert) about eye contact and object permanence. I get to start washing our clothes with perfume free detergent.

Will this euphoria last? I seriously doubt it. I'm pretty sure the crazy train will come and pick me up soon enough. But, right now, I'm happy -- plain and simple.

Here he is!

Here is our beautiful baby boy! We accepted his referral yesterday afternoon. He is 5 months old. I am honestly at a loss for words right now. I think I have to leave the rest of the story for another day. For now, you can do what I've been doing for the past 5 days....sit; stare; smile; repeat.

The hardest part

It's been a while. Since what? Since I've updated this blog. Since I've heard from my agency. Since we applied for adoption. Since we started to try and become parents. The other night I asked Dustin what he looks forward to most in the upcoming months. His response: "Not waiting anymore." I couldn't agree more.

I used to refer to infertility as purgatory -- never knowing when (or if) parenthood would come upon us. As we changed gears towards adoption there was a certain feeling of elation that came. We had the waiting thing down, and on the end of this wait is a child. A family. That was so liberating. But, now...I'm tired of waiting. Again.

There really isn't a choice, of course. So we will continue down this path. We keep going out and making purchases. We bought the crib, the changing table, a stroller, a mattress and Dino. In our various trips to the baby warehouse store, I became attached to a stuffed dinosaur. I went so far as to carry it around the store as Dustin and I discussed the pros and cons of various pieces of furniture. He was mortified. When we bought the crib, I bought Dino too. He is now my surrogate child. Do you think I'm certifiable? It gets better. As soon as we assembled the stroller, I put Dino in it and went around the house. Dustin forbid me from going outside with him. Now that the crib and changing table are here, I move Dino from place to place. I've strapped him onto the changing table. I've put him to bed and covered him with his blanket. Why? Partly because it is funny. Partly because Dino is so ridiculously cute. Partly because it makes Dustin think I'm nuts (but I think he secretly likes it too.) But mostly, because I'm just so tired of waiting.

Cribs-R-Us

Until about a month ago, all the word "cribs" meant to me was that it was yet another show teenagers watch of which I'm completely out-of-touch. Seriously. I think I once designed a lesson plan based on my interpretation of the show. It was something to the effect of "James Madison's Crib" complete with primary source documents. My students were impressed by the name only.

For a month, I've been researching cribs. First, I wanted white furniture, then a natural wood. I read review after review on-line. I've been to Babies-R-Us no less than 5 times just wandering around shaking various pieces of furniture. On Saturday, my husband and I went and we conquered. We chose this crib and a matching dresser (referred to as a "combo" in babyland). Black. It was the one I loved most the first time in the store, but told myself it wasn't "baby" enough. Now, I think it is perfect.

I know it is superficial, consumeristic and all of those good things. It is also a safe, sturdy bed for my child(ren) to use over the next several years. As soon as we get it set up, it will be our constant reminder of what is to be in a few short months. A family. A baby. A crib.

My Husband or Picasso?

I've been traveling for the last week and a half visiting my sibilings and their respective children. During that time, my husband took it upon himself to paint our baby's bedroom. Someone (maybe me) suggested paiting stripes on one wall in the room. Someone else (maybe Dustin) had to figure out how to do this. As mentioned earlier, he is an engineer and has taken approximately 18 levels of calculus in his lifetime. As you can see, all this education finally came to good use.

Step #482

The Department of Homeland Security serves multiple purposes in our brave new world -- most of which are "On Notice" in my mind. Back in April, Dustin and I ventured into the nearest branch of said department to have our fingerprints taken as part of the process to prove that we are fit parents. As we stared at a plexi-covered stock photo of GW, we almost had to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. We are forging through the bureaucracy of our first adoption without much to guide us but our own research, naiveté, and sense of humor (this is key.) I was not quite sure what I was doing in that dingy office with the forboding signs of "NO CELL PHONES OR FIREARMS" on that Wednesday morning, but I knew it was on a checklist. The checklist -- that is what we have to keep us somewhat sane. Our agency has given us flowcharts and lists for all learning types so that each time we think we've come upon a milestone in the pre-adoption process we can cross-reference our excitement with a checklist. Whew. I guess it is our equivalent of "What to Expect...".

Anyway, last week we received news that our time was not wasted. Our fingerprints were part of a larger procedure that allowed the US government to approve us for the adoption of an international orphan. Technically, we received our I-600A approval. But, let's be honest -- to us it is another check on the list. We know there are many more steps until our family comes together at last in Seoul sometime in the next six months. But, it feels good to move down one step further. I am staring at the official paperwork right now, wondering if it is possible for maternal feelings to come out of looking at a such a sterile piece of paper. Based on the stinging in the back of my eyes right now, I'm pretty sure it is.

European Vacation

So, our flight to get us to Rome was booked a month late.

So, my fellow group leader and I had 47 souls stranded in London for 24 hours.

So, 18 out of the 49 travelers lost their bags for an average of 7 days.

We lived. In the slideshow on the right are photos of Dustin and I in the happier moments of this adventure. If you click on any picture, you can even read some narrative and/or title for each.

P.S. Never, ever, ever travel with EF Tours. And that's all I have to say about that.

Let the games begin...

...nope, not the Olympics. Better yet, my attempt to start a family story on-line. My family right now is me (thirty-something teacher) and my husband (thirty-something marketing engineer) and our dog (a goldendoodle) and our unmentionable feline. After a few years of trying our best to become parents with all technology had to offer, we are finally on a successful path in that direction; albeit not the path of original intent. As of April 15, 2008 we are officially a waiting family with CHSFS and are expecting to travel to meet our child in South Korea by the close of 2008. Also officially, as of about 2 weeks ago, I began freaking out about the vast amount of preparation that needs to be done for this event.

Today was spent roaming the aisles of "Babies-R-Us" in somewhat of a shock-and-awe state. This baby-world is a world that was strictly off-limits to Dustin and I for the past four years in order to protect us against insanity. But with imminent parenthood finally upon us we jumped in wholeheartedly today: cribs, strollers, diaper hampers (?), bed sets, Winnie, Graco, Einstein...seriously! We walked out with one blanket. That was enough for today.

My summer vacation is now filled with questions as easy as "how to decorate a nursery?", as foreign as "what foods does a child eat at 7-10 months of age?", and as overwhelming as "how do we prepare to be parents, adoptive parents, and trans racial adoptive parents simultaneously?". I'm overwhelmed, scared, nervous, and just incredibly, incredibly happy at the prospect of meeting our child at long last.