Moving

So, this is it. The big "reveal." Since May I've been creating a new blog site. And now I'm ready to share it with you. (I'll deal with my follow-through issues at a later date.)

www.earseyesnosetail.com

Please visit me at this site. At some point, I may even explain the name. See you there.

ears eyes nose [tail]

Thanksgiving Vacation: Beyond the Turkey

We fit about as much into three days as humanly possible last week. Here a few of the highlights from Jaden's perspective:Playing with Grandpa's computer. Note the Super Cool Dump Truck that was just living at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Awesome.

But not nearly as awesome as this gift they gave me: the Best Garbage Truck Ever. My parents even brought it back home with us so now it lives in our house. I.love.it.The trucks just kept getting bigger! Can you believe this little number that that Grandma and Grandpa pulled out of their garage? Seriously, who has this stuff on hand?

Okay, from here it was official. We are moving to Atlanta. Five minutes in the Aquarium and I had squealed more times than in my entire life up to this point.

Grandpa didn't rake his leaves because he wanted me to have the experience of a huge leaf pile. I guess he heard my parents live in a subdivision where the baby trees drop ~10 leaves each. Thanks Grandpa!

My cousins and I played in the leaves for a very long time. The big kids even threw coins in the middle of pile and used Grandpa's metal detectors (yup...plural) to find them. You can't see me here, but I'm with Katie and Nicholas in the middle of the tarp. I think this was the Most Fun, but it hard to judge.

Thanksgiving Vacation: Family

I envision a three-part installment dedicated to our vacation to Atlanta for Thanksgiving Vacation. We'll see what happens. That is why I started with "Family" first. In case the week gets the best of me and I don't get around to the other two I figured I should start with the most important piece.

Dustin's entire immediate family was together for this Thanksgiving. That's all of us above. The cute kids in the front row are Nick, Christopher and Katie. They are adorable. And energetic. And GREAT cousins. Jaden loved, loved, loved playing with them. It was so good to see them. We don't get to nearly enough.

In the backrow are Dustin, myself, Jaden, Heather (Dustin's sister) and Lee (Heather's husband.) They are the proud parents of the three cuties in the front. This Thanksgiving was especially meaningful to Heather's family as Lee was on leave from Afghanistan where he has been serving our country since June. We were all so thankful to have Lee safely home with us for this holiday.

In the middle are Dustin's parents, Ron and Cheryl. They made our vacation to Atlanta nothing short of fantastic. Jaden thought he had landed in toddler heaven at their home, and I'm sure is seriously questioning our judgment at ever leaving. We were so happy to be with them in their home for this holiday.

It sounds cliche, but there is nothing better than being with family for the holidays. We flew into the busiest airport in the world, on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, with a child (ours) who screamed for half of our flight in a way that I have never heard before. And it was completely worth it.

Thumbs Up

This photo was taken two days before we flew across the ocean from Korea to America. That was almost a year ago. And Jaden had a cold. And I thanked all the powers that be that this little guy sucked his thumb.

This year we are flying to see Jaden's grandparents for Thanksgiving. And Jaden has a cold. And I am so thankful that he still sucks his thumb.

But. I would just like to throw something out there. His thumb has been loved a little too much since his has contracted this last cold. He has sucked so much that I believe he either has a huge blood blister on the end of this appendage OR he stuck it through the meat grinder when I wasn't looking. It is not pretty. But he still dutifully sticks it in his mouth.

Therefore, I am left to wonder exactly how strong is the skin on the end of one's thumb? Will he suck through all of the layers? Will he start bleeding spontaneously? Will it ever get so sore that he won't suck on it? Does anyone have legitimate answers to those questions?

I know I used up alot of good graces on our last airplane trip, but maybe I could still ask for one more thing? Please, please, please let Jaden's thumb be healthy for our Thanksgiving travels. All those within a quarter mile radius of us will probably want to issue the same plea.

And now, I will pack.

Gender Neutral?

As I checked in on Jaden last night before I went to bed, I had to untwist him from a book that has accompanied him to sleep since the day we bought it three weeks ago. The name of the book? "Trucks." That's it. And that is all he desires.

This morning he asked to have his new truck, a gift from a thoughtful neighbor, on the table with him during breakfast. I turned my back, and the next thing I knew the bed of the truck had become his new cereal bowl. (And, no, I don't feed my kid cat food. Those little kibbles are Cracklin' Oat Bran. Yum.)

Later this morning Jaden nearly jumped out of his skin because the garbage truck came by, and then the recycling truck made its rounds. The driver even honked at him and the neighbor boy we were playing with at the time. This = awesome.

We bought some sippy cups a few months back that have little trucks on them. We are lucky that Jaden takes in fluids the days he uses them, as he is so busy pointing to the vehicles making his amazing truck sounds.

I swear I have done nothing to encourage this stereotypical obsession. I don't care if Jaden plays with dolls, strollers, or tanks as long as he is enjoying himself and letting me drink my morning coffee. He has fallen in love with these four-wheeled monsters on his own, and I don't think there is a thing I can do about it.

I guess my collection of Hello Kitty paraphernalia will have to wait for our little girl.

Imperfection

The Hawkeyes lost on Saturday. This loss marks the end of their "perfect" season. Their quarterback got injured early in the game. Their back-up wasn't quite ready for the job. They lost 14-10.

I missed the first part of the game because I was at a conference for adoptive families. The keynote speaker was Dr. Steve Kahn. While he is an adoptive parent himself, and was speaking to a room full of adoptive parents, his message was fairly universal to all parents. He spoke about the power of parenting in moments of imperfection. He talked primarily about how we, as parents, might react to the mistakes our children will make and about the disappointments they will face. What I took away was that pre-adolescent kids make fairly predictable mistakes. What differs more greatly is how parents react.

He encouraged the use of discipline, but with compassion and perspective. This might sound like common sense. But, as I've already discovered, when your child repeatedly does something "wrong" (in Jaden's case like running into the street or playing with the stove knobs) it is sometimes very difficult to remain calm and loving.

One thing he said really stuck with me. It was a variation on the theme that life is "10% circumstance 90% what one does with those circumstances." He fit this into a spiel encouraging us to let our kids know that bad things can happen in a day without it having to ruin a day. Again, this sounds simple and maybe even cliche. But, I think it did me some good to hear it.

So, when the Hawkeyes lost later that day I told Jaden (and myself) it was okay. They are still a great team, and I am still one of their biggest fans. And when Jaden makes inevitable mistakes, I'll still think he is amazing and will always be his biggest fan.

Kissy Face

To date, this is by far the cutest thing Jaden has done. For the past few weeks he gives kisses all of the time. This is particularly interesting considering he really didn't start kissing until August. Now he is unstoppable.

For Jaden, right now, the kissing business is serious business. For example, when Dustin puts his coat on in the morning to leave for work Jaden chases him around the house with the same face as is photoed above. This face is always accompanied by "ooo-ooo" which translates into "kiss me now, now, now!".

Another funny thing is that one kiss is never enough. Our bedtime routine has gotten a little silly recently. Jaden puts approximately 35 toys and books in his crib before he feels his nest is ready for him. Finally I put him in his crib and tell him to "lie down and I'll cover you up." He dutifully puts himself into a horizontal position -- for a millisecond. Then he shoots up, grabs a hold of the side of the crib and puts on his best kissy face complete with sound effects. I kiss him, hold his cheeks and tell him I love him. And then we do it all over again. He would do this as many times as I would let him. And, I have to be honest, this is a hard habit of which not to take advantage. Eventually I tell him this is the "last one" and make my grand exit. He never cries, but sometimes I still hear him "ooo-ooo"-ing as I shut the door.

It is heartbreakingly adorable.

Trick-or-Treat

This past August I was talking with my sister. It was a few days before Dustin, Jaden and I were going to trek 9+ hours in a car to go and visit her family for a week. We were discussing things we could do during our visit (as if caring for 4 children wouldn't be enough.) At some point the conversation went like something like this:

Ali: "I think I'm going to make Jaden a lion costume for Halloween."

Teresa: "That sounds good, maybe I'll do the same for Caleb. Let me look up some patterns on-line."

We then had a web-conference (the stay-at-home-mom kind) and found the "perfect" costume. Within three days, Teresa had secured the patterns and all of the materials necessary for the creation of the costumes. She was prepared for my visit.

I would like to let everyone know that I used to be able to sew. When I was in 4-H. When I was twelve. Those skills are more than a little rusty at this point. But, thankfully, my sister and mother are pretty much professional seamstresses. With their assistance at every turn, the costume was constructed in August and September. The last month and a half have been spent making the lion's mane. It seemed an exercise in futility. As I glued each of the four thousand ribbons on the lion's hood, I knew he'd never wear it. Each time we had a trial run he ripped the head off within three seconds. Then, I had an idea.

We live in the frozen tundra. Since September, Jaden has had to wear a hat each time he goes outside for safety reasons. So, when we got ready to trick-or-treat last night I matter-of-factly told him that he had to wear a hat outside. I broke out the lion's hood, and promptly secured it under his chin. He didn't look back. He wore the blessed costume.

I question what Jaden's opinion of this costume will be when he is eighteen. But, I couldn't imagine anything more adorable at eighteen-months. Thank you, Teresa. Thank you, mom. Thank you, Jaden.

Happy Halloween.

Graduation

Deductions:

1. Sitting at highchairs makes you REALLY messy.
2. Sitting at the table makes you look super grown up and serious.
3. You don't need a bib when you sit at the table.
4. You need a hazmat suit to sit at the highchair.
5. Post-meal clean up is reduced by 200% with the introduction of the toddler table chair.

*Currently the highchair is going through a 57 step decontamination process after which it will be relegated to the basement. Thank you highchair. You served your purpose, but we are more than happy to see you go.

What did you say?

There is a lot going on in Jaden's world right now. At his eighteen month appointment, the doctor said not to worry about language development just yet. He said the world is still too exciting at this age for a toddler to focus on coherent communication. As he was telling me this, Jaden was destroying the doctor's office. I know words and phrases and sentences come quickly at some point in the next year or so. Our two-year-old neighbor can carry on a better conversation than many of the high school students I used to teach. But, for now, we get constant jibber-jabber that is only occassionally understandable. Nonetheless, it is outstanding in my book. Here is Jaden's list of words at eighteen months, complete with a mother's translation:

• "Dada": By far his favorite word. Morning. Noon. Night.


• "Ba": Mom. No joke. All the time.


• "Mama": Rarely. Usually when extremely sad.


• "Zhar-Zhar": Charlie. The dog.


• "Ahhhhh": Said in a high-pitched squeal. It equals Alan. The cat.


• "Zhruh": Truck. Usually screamed. Clapping follows.


• "Buh": Bus. More clapping.


• "Ba": Ball. Not to be confused with mom.


• "Nigh-Nigh": So cute.


• "Nnnah": Said emphatically. Means "outside" or "downstairs".


• "Muh": Moo. Like a cow.


• "Duh": Duck.

I'm sure there are a couple more, but this is pretty much it right now. We did teach him a few signs which he uses often. He even made up two of his own. The cutest one is when he sees a cat he pretends to take a "catbath" and licks his "paws." Honestly, toddlers are so cute...until they aren't. Which is list for another day.

Fun is...

A Good Idea

So we were on our Tour de Iowa. The first few days were spent completely cut off from civilization (read: we had only satellite TV and no Internet service) at a "remote" cabin. This forced some creative thinking on the part of all participants who included myself, Jaden, Dustin, my mom, my dad and Charlie. The first afternoon there we rallied around the proposal of going for a walk.

To set the stage for the rest of this story, please understand that it was quite wet that afternoon. It had been raining, and even when it wasn't raining the humidity level was at approximately 115%. Regardless we were determined to commune with Mother Nature. In this vein I wanted my suburban dog to get the opportunity of a lifetime: a walk without a leash. My husband vehemently said "no." He said it was too wet. I scoffed at him and told him how good Charlie is at the local dog park. I told him I'd been training Charlie for this very moment. I promised to dry him off when we got back. Believe it or not -- I had even brought his puppy towel with decorative paws. It was meant to be. I let the pup off his leash.

Here is the picture I took just after this fateful moment.

And here is a picture fifteen minutes later.

He found a lake. A nasty lake. An algae-infested, seed-pore pregnant, mudbottomed lake.

It wasn't Charlie who had his tail between his legs on the walk back to the cabin. Dustin, my mother and my father sat back and watched me use an entire (travel-sized) bottle of baby shampoo on Chuckles while hosing him down with glacier-cold water. I then had to dry the dog, brush the dog and wash him down some more. It.took.forever. I couldn't ask for help. Pride prevented it. And they wouldn't have helped even if I had asked, because they all thought I needed to learn a lesson.

Here's what I learned: if Charlie is ever going to be respected as a dog who (used to) have a pair, I am going to have to let him commune with nature more often. Just not the kind of nature that has lakes. Or seeds. Or grass. Other than that, consider him officially in training.

Last September

In a couple of days we are going on a roadtrip to Iowa. We are seriously taking a tour of the state including a stay in a picturesque cabin (yes, this exists in Iowa...I think), a visit to my parent's home, and a trip to Dustin's parent's home-away-from-home (see the JG Cook House link on the side.) We have made the drive to Iowa SO many times over the years. We know every exit by heart. We know where to use the facilities, where to eat, where to get excited that we are almost there, where you are most likely to get stuck in the winter, and where you are most likely to get swept away by a tornado in the summer.

There is one exit that will be a part of our family history forever. A year ago from last weekend a social worker from our agency called as we crossed the border into Iowa. She had a referral for us. She read us the details and asked if we'd like to see pictures and review the file. We said yes, and the email was sent. We pulled over at the next exit and prayed for the wireless gods to shine upon us in the middle-of-nowheresville. They did. Slowly but surely the pictures uploaded, pixel by pixel. All of a sudden we saw him. And our world was changed forever.

We will be sure to stop at this exit on this trip. We'll probably be busy making sure the dog doesn't eat another dog, and that Jaden doesn't get too intimate with any of the semi-trucks that he obssesses about. I don't know if we'll have time to reflect on how fundamentally our lives have shifted since that day. It was on that day that we became parents emotionally if not physically. It was on that day that we "met" our son. It happened at a rest stop. In Iowa. In September.

Waiting...again

As of today Dustin, Jaden and I are officially a waiting family in the Korea program with our adoption agency. Our new social worker came out today to complete our adoption study. I think we passed despite the fact that I plopped Jaden down in front of an Elmo video for the majority of her visit.

We are waiting for a referral for a little girl this time, and the projected time frame is nine to twelve months for this referral. This is quite a bit longer than the five months we waited for Jaden's referral to come to us. I think one of the most common questions we get when discussing Jaden's adoption concerns his gender. There is a perception that boys rarely have adoption plans made for them from Korea. While this is certainly true of China, the gender ratio of adoptees from Korea is much closer to 50% girls and 50% boys. However, the majority of waiting families prefer to adopt girls, thus making the wait time for a boy significantly shorter.

So, here we go again. I know the wait will be different this time. I know there will be ups and downs as the timeframes change throughout the upcoming year. But we are ready to continue building our family and are overcome with happiness and excitement about the prospect of beginning that process.

Toddler Time

On Monday, Jaden and I went to our first session of Toddler Time together. I think I referred to it as Puppy Class when I was discussing this with my sister. I was overwhelmed. I can't imagine how Jaden felt.

Ten toddlers, toddling. There was some "structure" to the class: playtime, circle time, snack time, and parent circle time. I was looking forward to meeting some other stay-at-home moms. At the rate we began, I will complete a conversation with a parent in the group at about week six. Controlled chaos is the only term that can accurately describe those ninety minutes. I don't know why I'd expect anything else, considering my daily existence at this point is considered a success as long as everyone/thing in the house has been somewhat adequately fed, bathroomed and entertained.

The official circle time lasted about ten minutes. Jaden's lasted two. Then he went off to play on the slide, and to push the dolly in the cart, and to throw various balls throughout the room. I didn't know if he was even paying attention to the rest of the goings on until one adorable little girl came and sat on my lap. Within ten seconds Jaden was at my side vehemently protesting the arrival of another child on his mom's lap. Kids are funny little creatures.

We topped off Toddler Time this week with a trip to storytime at the library today. It lasted thirty minutes. Jaden only screamed his head off once (his balance is a little off today) and only sat down never. The absolute highlight was when the nice woman telling stories to 25 wee ones put stamps on each of their hands. Jaden was mesmerized. He smeared the ink immediately and stared at his little fist the whole way home. I'm kind of scared he is skipping his nap right now while commiserating with his purple stamp. Note to self: get hand stamps.

So begin our experiences in the world of early childhood education. As a high school teacher, none of this is innate. While I'm a mean dancer (seriously, my Running Man is awesome) I am not a good singer (understatement.) Apparently kids Jaden's age LOVE for everything to be a song. Since Monday I've made up two really good tunes that make Jaden stop in his tracks. I feel like the Pied Piper. I'll upload one of my original hits when it is good enough for recording. I may even choreograph a dance to go along with it. For that I fully expect a Mom of the Year award.

We'll take a break from "learning" this weekend to watch some more football. I'd hate to overdo things in the first few weeks.

The End of Summer

School started yesterday in our neck of the woods. Jaden yelled and clapped for the bus. He was in shorts and his summer sandals. They are nearly too small now. It doesn't matter. In two weeks he won't be able to wear them anymore anyway..he'll need boots instead.

The weather has started to change. Football kicks off with full force tomorrow. The Iowa vs. Iowa-State game is this weekend. Lows are in the 40s and 50s at night now. I've given up on gardening. Things are definitely lining up for some chili soon. Fall is definitely here.

I will miss summer. I will miss warmth. I will miss having endless outdoor spots to take little Jaden. He has become a master at play structures. At the beginning of the summer he could barely climb stairs. Now, he takes on the biggest slide at each park. By himself. He got big. And brave. I love him so much.

These pudgy little baby feet will be more like little boy feet next year when we break out new sandals. I will still put sunscreen on him diligently, and he will still turn brown. But for now it is time to break out the socks, the pants, the long-sleeved shirts and the jackets. I've already started searching for a good winter coat and snowpants. It's time to get even more creative with indoor activities. And invest in some new videos. And hope Jaden likes to watch football.

Good-bye summer. Thank you for the zebra feet.

Good-bye feet. I'll see you again in May.

On Notice

Dear Ms./Mrs. Mosquito,

My son really, really, really enjoys playing outside. I understand that you do as well. However, it appears as if you and he cannot peacefully coexist in the outdoors. You seem to have a nasty habit of biting him and sucking his blood. This is repulsive and, quite frankly, not socially acceptable behavior. So, I beseech you to please go and find another source of nourishment for your eggs other than MY SON'S FACE.

Thank you,

Me

P.S. Enclosed is photographic evidence of your destruction on only half of this precious face. Number 3 is particularly nasty right now. I hope you feel guilty.

When it rains...

Jaden is not an overly cuddly child. Trying to get him to cuddle is somewhat akin to trying to snuggle with an octopus. A wet octopus. This child rarely sits still. Everyone who meets him calls him "busy." I'm not going to argue.

He does know what it means to gives hugs and kisses, and will do so on command...if requested by his father. Dustin receives hugs and kisses on call. Frequently. Especially right before bed. Lots of love for daddy.

Before naptime I sometimes get a hug, sometimes not. He sometimes will kiss my hand or my shoulder, but sometimes he's really just trying to bite but knows that's not a good idea. So he stops short and I call it a kiss.

But today Jaden forgot all of the rules. Perhaps it was because we were in a movie rental store/tanning salon. Maybe it was because I had "Girl Interrupted" in my hot hands ready to check out. Maybe he really wanted to let the boy in line next to us know to whom I belonged. Whatever it was, Jaden kissed me. Not once, not twice, but FIVE times. And he didn't just give me a sweet peck, these were full-on open-mouthed slobbery kisses straight on (or in?) my mouth.

I'll take what I can get.

Armed for Battle

Today's mission: Acquire a Social Security Number for Jaden

Required Documents:

• Application Form
• Travel Visa from Korea
• Green Card
• Certified Copy of Adoption Decree
• Jaden's Passport
• Jaden's Birth Certificate
• Allison's Passport
• Dustin's Passport

Destination: The nearest (40 minute drive) Social Security Administration building.

Summary of Anticipated Events: Based upon prior experiences with government agencies (and we've had our fair share) I fully expected to show up to a less than friendly environment. I had hoped to wait to be called to a window for about 45 minutes in which time I could wrestle with Jaden in a cramped room with strangers glaring at us the whole time. When finally called up to meet with the Super Friendly Person at the counter, I really wished they would tell me that while I had all of the documents listed above, that I still needed a stool sample from Jaden taken 24 hours before arriving in the United States. She would tell me that this requirement was clearly marked in Subsection X on page 32 of the instruction booklet. Then, the SF Person would "smile" at me and tell me to come back when I was fully prepared. I would then collapse into tears of frustration, leave my purse at the counter and not realize it until three days later when I wanted to buy bananas at the grocery store. Needless to say, I was prepared for the worst.

Summary of Actual Events: We (Dustin, Jaden and I) arrived at the office and the security officers joked with us as we went through the metal dectectors. This meant, right away, that some of the staff at this agency had a sense of humor. We were off to a good start. We signed in electronically and were called to a window within 5 minutes of arriving. The woman who helped me was unbelievably cordial, and complimented me on my preparedness. She even said, "This all looks really good." She processed the paperwork within 10 minutes, in which time she even spared a few moments for a little banter about parenting. In the end, she gave us all of the precious paperwork back and said Jaden would have a card within 2 weeks. On top of all of this, she didn't ask for any money. I practically skipped out of the agency (with my purse) and came very close to hugging the security officer on the way out (who told ANOTHER joke as we left.)

Either we entered a parallel universe this morning, or the Social Security Administration is the most efficient government agency we have in the US right now. You be the judge.

Mission accomplished.

Growing Up

Apparently it isn't a cakewalk to be 16 months old.

Each day there are challenges. The challenge of standing on your tiptoes to try to open doors to go outside, and to not be able to turn the handle. The challenge of having to eat (or not eat) whatever is put in front of you with zero input of your own. The challenge of having to lie still while your mom changes your dirty diapers. The challenge of wanting to say so much, but being able to say so little. The challenge of wanting to be away from your mom and dad, but wanting them to be close at all times. The challenge of walking when the slightest breeze could lead you to an intimate date with concrete. The challenge of three (or four?) new teeth making their presence known simultaneously.

Many times a day, these challenges lead to tears. Big, elephant tears of confusion and frustration. It is so much fun to be bigger, faster, and more capable of doing things independently. It is so hard to realize the countless limitations that are still there.

From a mom's perspective I think this is kind of how it feels to be 16 months old. Considering this is our first child, I'm pretty sure some of my observations and assumptions are the opposite of the truth. However, I can almost feel Jaden's growing pains right now. It hurts a little for us both.

Not who you are looking for

Not Ali. Teresa.

For reasons that are probably understandable, my creativity is at an all-time low. I don't think I could crank out Dick & Jane at this point in my summer. So I gave my sister the keys to my place, and she posted over there today. In between wiping my kid's nose and playing Wii Sports Resort with my Big Kids. So go see her there.

Really, go.

Fair Time

At 4 pm yesterday we went to the local county fair. At 5:07 we left said fair.

Me: "Did you get your $10 worth?"

Dustin: "Yup."

Never fear -- we did the rounds. We saw the camel, the miniature horses, the geese, the ducks, the llamas, and the random African animals in the petting zoo. We each ate a corn dog. Our shoes stunk of animal dung. We were duly impressed by the midway and vowed never to let Jaden to ride on 90% of the rides there.

Then we went home and had some vegetables to chase the corn dogs.

Dustin: "Do you think Jaden's old enough to watch the smash-up derby."

Me: "..."

And that will do until next year.

Corn: By the Numbers

• 1 Sunday afternoon
• 1 naptime (for the toddler)
• 72 ears of corn

• 44 cups of corn

• 3 quarts of water
• 1 cup of sugar
• 12 teaspoons of salt

• 1 (or 2) marital "discussions"
• 4 phone calls to my parents to double-check on the next step(s)
• 20 one quart freezer bags of fresh sweet corn available all year long

Yum.

Lions, and Tigers, and ...Zebras!

Put it on the calendar. Yesterday was our first trip to The Zoo. Regular readers (I'm sure there are thousands) may recall that my mom made an amazing animal quilt for Jaden's bedroom. Jaden talks to those animals every day in his special animal voice. This voice is very gentle -- to the point that it almost sounds like he is cooing. He made that same sound yesterday when he saw the zebra, the giraffe, the monkeys, the tiger, the lion, and on and on. Pretty cute.

In contrast (although equally as cute) my friend's kids had roars and growls for the big cats in particular. That seemed a little more appropriate for the animals that could eat us in a blink of an eye.

One more adorable and appropriate thing were the shoes worn by my friend's daughter. I guess he told her that it would be a good idea to wear tennis shoes to the zoo, but she snuck out of the house in her sparkle shoes -- little glittery flats. I think they were perfect.

All in all, it was a good day.

A Brief Moment

Dustin stuck around this morning and prepared Jaden's breakfast. He went upstairs and changed the nasty morning diaper. He brought the warm and snuggly little worm to me in the kitchen. Jaden was still dressed in his onesie/pajamas. Then Dustin had to go to work. As he picked up his briefcase and gave Jaden a little kiss and hug Jaden said, clear as a bell, "Bye, Dada."

And that is how this Monday morning melted my heart.

The Morning Show

For the entire summer we have had a visitor for breakfast. A goldfinch.* Who thinks he can perch on the plant by our dining room window that happens to be (much to his frustration) inside. Every morning he flies up to the window and pecks, and pecks and pecks. Of course Jaden finds this entertaining, but not soley because of the bird's antics. This bird has some competition for the bottom of the IQ totem pole...our cat. While the bird thinks he can get inside, our cat is bound determined that he can actually catch the bird through the window. Alan has a special meow which he reserves only for his pretend bird-catching moments that sounds eerily like a cackle. It is plain strange. So he sits on the window sill and cackles at the bird thinking he actually has a shot at a mouthful of feathers. The bird really doesn't seem bothered. Perhaps the glass pane is first on his lists of things to conquer before he takes on the ten pound gray rodent. Who knows. Regardless of it all, Jaden is mesmerized each day around 7 am by the show. TV be damned**, this is a much better way to spend our time each morning.

*Which happen to be the Iowa state bird. I used to think they were magical and that they cheered for Iowa because they are black and gold.
**at least until 9 am

Sunday C.O.P.*

Dustin and I used to live Out West. It was no big deal to pack up on a Sunday morning, drive for less than an hour, and hike in the foothills of the Sierras for the better part of a day. None of this happened, of course, until after we had slept as much as we'd wanted, caught up on the news, and been properly caffeinated.

Now we live in the Midwest. And weekend mornings aren't quite what they used to be. I tell myself on Friday and Saturday nights that I will get! up! early! in order to have some pre-Jaden time with our coffee pot and some reading material. Without fail, I am still in bed when Jaden lets his desires known that it is time for him and his crib to part ways. From then, as with each weekday, it is game-on for this toddler. He knows nothing of "relaxing" weekend mornings vs. the standard chaos of weekday mornings. In fact, weekends are twice the fun because both mom and dad are there for the taking.

Yesterday we took the bull by the horns and decided to take an hour drive to do what we used to do -- hike. And -- aside from the screaming in the car, the mosquitoes, the extra 30 pounds on Dustin's back, and the distinct lack of mountains -- it was just like old times.

*Change Of Pace. As named by the husband.

Bottles Suck

(I wrote this last week, and then the vacation/staycation occurred, and now I'm getting around to publishing this.)

This kind of hurts.

Jaden just had his last bottle. He will be 15 months old soon. He has been drinking out of a sippy cup since he was 11 months old. Still, we (I) kept his bedtime bottle. Feeding Jaden a bottle is one of the greatest privileges I've had as his parent (and I'm not just saying this to be overly saptastic.) It made him happy, still, content and cuddly each time he had one. It made me feel closer to him than any other time of day. When we first met he had a bottle five times a day, with once being at 2 am. Then four, then three...you get the picture. Since he turned a year old it has only been one bottle...just before bed...in the rocking chair...with me (almost exclusively.) Now it is none.

I would have let him keep it for a while longer, but he doesn't want it. He is done and I need to listen. I missed 8 months of bottle-feeding Jaden. That makes me very sad. I really grieve not knowing Jaden as a young infant. I don't know what else to say. There is no way around this with the Korean-American adoption system. The wait from referral time to travel time keeps getting longer, and our next child will likely be nearly a year old when we go to meet him/her. When we went through pre-adoption classes we did some exercises on the grief and loss surrounding adoption (including examples from birthparents, adoptive parents, and adopted children). Our class came up with many examples from our own perspectives. I clearly remember my contribution to the discussion was that I would miss my baby's infancy.

Upon becoming a parent I've become intimately familiar with the term bittersweet. My heart bursts with pride when Jaden meets milestones, but also breaks a little each time too. This one is a little harder than some others. But that is okay. I wouldn't trade it.

Dear Everyone

There seems to be some sort of consensus amongst those who love my husband that he is still not getting enough potatoes in his life. This is despite the fact that I have had new resolve since becoming a parent to make more potatoes. While visiting my sister on our staycation she and her husband both voiced concerns. They proceeded to make garlic mashed potatoes for my birthday dinner (granted, it was with my blessing...I'm just really generous like that.) On our way home from my sister's we stayed at my parent's house for a night. They tried to send home about 15 pounds of new red potatoes and emphasized the need for poor Dustin to get some of them in his belly. We took home a bag full. As I write this those pototoes are on the stovetop (picture = evidence.) Dustin may or may not have just said, "Don't burn my damned potatoes," when I was busy typing this post. They may or may not be a little "crispy" which is beside the point. They are potatoes. From my parent's garden. With rosemary and garlic. And only Dustin will consume these tonight. So I am pretty much an awesome wife. And those who love Dustin can sleep a little more easily tonight.