Here he is!

Here is our beautiful baby boy! We accepted his referral yesterday afternoon. He is 5 months old. I am honestly at a loss for words right now. I think I have to leave the rest of the story for another day. For now, you can do what I've been doing for the past 5 days....sit; stare; smile; repeat.

The hardest part

It's been a while. Since what? Since I've updated this blog. Since I've heard from my agency. Since we applied for adoption. Since we started to try and become parents. The other night I asked Dustin what he looks forward to most in the upcoming months. His response: "Not waiting anymore." I couldn't agree more.

I used to refer to infertility as purgatory -- never knowing when (or if) parenthood would come upon us. As we changed gears towards adoption there was a certain feeling of elation that came. We had the waiting thing down, and on the end of this wait is a child. A family. That was so liberating. But, now...I'm tired of waiting. Again.

There really isn't a choice, of course. So we will continue down this path. We keep going out and making purchases. We bought the crib, the changing table, a stroller, a mattress and Dino. In our various trips to the baby warehouse store, I became attached to a stuffed dinosaur. I went so far as to carry it around the store as Dustin and I discussed the pros and cons of various pieces of furniture. He was mortified. When we bought the crib, I bought Dino too. He is now my surrogate child. Do you think I'm certifiable? It gets better. As soon as we assembled the stroller, I put Dino in it and went around the house. Dustin forbid me from going outside with him. Now that the crib and changing table are here, I move Dino from place to place. I've strapped him onto the changing table. I've put him to bed and covered him with his blanket. Why? Partly because it is funny. Partly because Dino is so ridiculously cute. Partly because it makes Dustin think I'm nuts (but I think he secretly likes it too.) But mostly, because I'm just so tired of waiting.

Cribs-R-Us

Until about a month ago, all the word "cribs" meant to me was that it was yet another show teenagers watch of which I'm completely out-of-touch. Seriously. I think I once designed a lesson plan based on my interpretation of the show. It was something to the effect of "James Madison's Crib" complete with primary source documents. My students were impressed by the name only.

For a month, I've been researching cribs. First, I wanted white furniture, then a natural wood. I read review after review on-line. I've been to Babies-R-Us no less than 5 times just wandering around shaking various pieces of furniture. On Saturday, my husband and I went and we conquered. We chose this crib and a matching dresser (referred to as a "combo" in babyland). Black. It was the one I loved most the first time in the store, but told myself it wasn't "baby" enough. Now, I think it is perfect.

I know it is superficial, consumeristic and all of those good things. It is also a safe, sturdy bed for my child(ren) to use over the next several years. As soon as we get it set up, it will be our constant reminder of what is to be in a few short months. A family. A baby. A crib.

My Husband or Picasso?

I've been traveling for the last week and a half visiting my sibilings and their respective children. During that time, my husband took it upon himself to paint our baby's bedroom. Someone (maybe me) suggested paiting stripes on one wall in the room. Someone else (maybe Dustin) had to figure out how to do this. As mentioned earlier, he is an engineer and has taken approximately 18 levels of calculus in his lifetime. As you can see, all this education finally came to good use.

Step #482

The Department of Homeland Security serves multiple purposes in our brave new world -- most of which are "On Notice" in my mind. Back in April, Dustin and I ventured into the nearest branch of said department to have our fingerprints taken as part of the process to prove that we are fit parents. As we stared at a plexi-covered stock photo of GW, we almost had to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. We are forging through the bureaucracy of our first adoption without much to guide us but our own research, naiveté, and sense of humor (this is key.) I was not quite sure what I was doing in that dingy office with the forboding signs of "NO CELL PHONES OR FIREARMS" on that Wednesday morning, but I knew it was on a checklist. The checklist -- that is what we have to keep us somewhat sane. Our agency has given us flowcharts and lists for all learning types so that each time we think we've come upon a milestone in the pre-adoption process we can cross-reference our excitement with a checklist. Whew. I guess it is our equivalent of "What to Expect...".

Anyway, last week we received news that our time was not wasted. Our fingerprints were part of a larger procedure that allowed the US government to approve us for the adoption of an international orphan. Technically, we received our I-600A approval. But, let's be honest -- to us it is another check on the list. We know there are many more steps until our family comes together at last in Seoul sometime in the next six months. But, it feels good to move down one step further. I am staring at the official paperwork right now, wondering if it is possible for maternal feelings to come out of looking at a such a sterile piece of paper. Based on the stinging in the back of my eyes right now, I'm pretty sure it is.

European Vacation

So, our flight to get us to Rome was booked a month late.

So, my fellow group leader and I had 47 souls stranded in London for 24 hours.

So, 18 out of the 49 travelers lost their bags for an average of 7 days.

We lived. In the slideshow on the right are photos of Dustin and I in the happier moments of this adventure. If you click on any picture, you can even read some narrative and/or title for each.

P.S. Never, ever, ever travel with EF Tours. And that's all I have to say about that.

Let the games begin...

...nope, not the Olympics. Better yet, my attempt to start a family story on-line. My family right now is me (thirty-something teacher) and my husband (thirty-something marketing engineer) and our dog (a goldendoodle) and our unmentionable feline. After a few years of trying our best to become parents with all technology had to offer, we are finally on a successful path in that direction; albeit not the path of original intent. As of April 15, 2008 we are officially a waiting family with CHSFS and are expecting to travel to meet our child in South Korea by the close of 2008. Also officially, as of about 2 weeks ago, I began freaking out about the vast amount of preparation that needs to be done for this event.

Today was spent roaming the aisles of "Babies-R-Us" in somewhat of a shock-and-awe state. This baby-world is a world that was strictly off-limits to Dustin and I for the past four years in order to protect us against insanity. But with imminent parenthood finally upon us we jumped in wholeheartedly today: cribs, strollers, diaper hampers (?), bed sets, Winnie, Graco, Einstein...seriously! We walked out with one blanket. That was enough for today.

My summer vacation is now filled with questions as easy as "how to decorate a nursery?", as foreign as "what foods does a child eat at 7-10 months of age?", and as overwhelming as "how do we prepare to be parents, adoptive parents, and trans racial adoptive parents simultaneously?". I'm overwhelmed, scared, nervous, and just incredibly, incredibly happy at the prospect of meeting our child at long last.